PAINFUL TO LOVE

it is painful that i love you
so much of lies and so much ofsorrows
still i am here
being one of those martyrs

i love you as you can see
as we go further in this relationship
we've been tied together in this commitment
that i never knew will gonna end

sometimes i cried and even smiled
sometimes i hate and bothered that i am loved
though it makes me feel im in pain
whenever we argued over and over again

i tried to give you up
thinking that this will be enough
enough for the pain that you have brought
sigh..if i could only paint my heart with joy

the best thing is i never quit
though i am really sick
sick of your lies, promises and pains..
but i love it everytime i feel your care

i love you so much
though i bleed and burst
i love you so..
though it really hurts.

SORRY.. COZ' IT'S JUST ME

if i say bad things
it happens to be i am just angry
i know it must hurt
but i mostly know i will regret in the end

sorry if i always count on you
that all my life you lend me through
i apologize for not standing on my own
even i know you didn't mind it though

i am sorry if i only waste your time
whenever we sit behind
story telling and opening up
i hope it doesn't matter to you my boo

sorry if i am so cruel
that all i want is being ruined
i am sorry it's my fault
i admit it coz' i am wrong

sorry as i always say
forgive me or do i have to pay?
i know i am not perfect
so here i speak with my poem sorry is lended

with words full of sincerity
here i say i am trully sorry
through my words and my acts
i am sorry coz it's just me

03/07/2010 FILLED UP WITH HATE

the story

i have done all my works
thinking it was the right thing to do
but they scold and disagreed
telling me it's all wrong and ruined

they shouted
until i screamed
i cried
as they do a scene

i got my boyfriend back then
we are the two fighting in front of them
and here's my family
claiming that they were the people im fighting with

i lose control of myself
i should have killed my boyfriend in a second
i was able to get the knife
with my anger i want him die

he was being pushed away
while i am screaming his name
with voice so loud and shivering
please go back here and save me

he heard me but its the end
he ride on his motorcycle
and leave me with those creeps
who want me to be unhappy

i started to cry and cry
while i am begging him to stay
yet he refused and fade
then i asked myself..is this the love he promised??

he's a man whose afraid to fight for me
though he said that he really love me
oh crap its a mess
dealing with a guy who care less

in my mind it's a question
until i know its a redemption
i ruined everything in a day
and so here.. i am the one to blame